An engagement cannot proceed with out the who-pays-for-what conversation, as this discussion has progressed between Nicole and I we’ve been forced to realize that our backgrounds vary greatly. Back home when a wedding would occur it was always paid for by the bride and groom, the bride’s parents, the groom’s parents, or some combination of the groups. Either way the event was successfully paid for. Then when it comes to designing and planning the wedding all say was given to the bride and groom regardless of who was dishing out dough.

In Nicole’s world though I’ve learned that if someone is helping pay for the event in a significant manner then they deserve a say in the who, what, where, when and how of the wedding. I can totally see the logic behind this, and I don’t know why it’s never occured to me before now, but I don’t think I can agree with the practice. I don’t see why this act of kindness is necessary.

I’ve heard horror stories recently where a bride’s parents paid for the majority of the wedding, and then informed the bride and groom that they were each allowed to invite 3 of their closest friends, and the rest of the guest was to be devoted to the parents friends and family of choice. I call BS on this practice. Keep in mind that I don’t think that my or Nicole’s parents would act like this. It’s just a good example of how far awry this practice can go.

The more I think about it the more I know that if either my parents or hers were to begin making demands based on the amount of money they have graciously donated to our wedding fund, then I will have to graciously return their donations to them. This planning process is going to be stressful enough since we’re both still in school, and will soon be job hunting/ entering graduate school. I will not let either of our anxiety levels soar to a point where Xanex is needed over what is supposed to be the best day of our lives.

I plan on sitting down with Nicole soon and writing out a list of the goals we want to accomplish with our wedding. That way we can begin making plans that will serve to produce only the results that we desire.

I know this probably sounds like an incredibly harsh opinion, but I decided a couple of days ago that I was going to use this blog as a way to share my true experience of planning my wedding including all of the emotions that come with that. However I will keep up the comedy on my regular blog on my personal Web site.

Good Night