Archive for the ‘Marriage’ Category

A memo about my marriage

Friday, February 19th, 2010

Let’s pause for a moment. I know I promised the ceremony but I’m going to break so that I can rant about something that is beginning to upset me.

Just because Chet and I are young, does not mean that we aren’t committed to our marriage, jumped into this irrationally, don’t know what we’re doing, irresponsible, careless, or less self-aware than our older newlywed counterparts.

Let me reiterate that: just because we are young, does NOT mean we are stupid.

So please, stop telling me (us) that we are. I’m very protective of our marriage, and I am likely to snap soon. And that won’t be pretty, I promise.

I do understand that statistics are against us, but statistics are such a fickle thing by the time they reach the public (funny example).

And, have you ever met us? I mean, we’re not your typical early twenty year olds, in many ways.

We didn’t get married because we’re “in looooooove”. I mean, yeah we’re in love but c’mon. Give us a bit more credit. We rationalized it out. No, we don’t have the same life experiences that a 45 year old couple has, but we do know that we can change with each other, and that’s huge.

We do know that divorce is not an option for us.

I know that Chet can’t sit still for the life of him while I am grateful for any moment of silence and stillness which I can get.

Chet knows that it takes me 45 minutes to fall asleep and I know that he can be asleep in 30 seconds flat (I’ve timed this).

I know that Chet will never, ever, ever, get out of bed happily before 11 am, while I could be up at 6 and have the Greatest. Day. Ever.

Chet knows that I pick fights whenever I’m pissy, and that means I probably need food or sleep.

I know Chet will never argue with me.

Chet will never notice that the toilet paper roll is empty, and I will always put it on upside-down.

Chet knows that I have a tendency to be a needy attention whore, about as bad as any Paris Hilton/Lindsey Lohan out there.

I know that Chet will always be more frugal than I am.

Chet knows that I will disappear into my own world while reading, and it’s best to leave me alone.

I know that Chet needs touch to be reminded of my love, while he knows that I’m a total words person and would be fine without touch.

We both know the other’s faults, but that’s the beauty of this. It’s super easy to marry someone when you think that they are perfect.

It’s much harder to marry someone who I know will never have the same idea of clean as I do and probably miss my hints about EVERYTHING, even when I just tell him. Just as he had to marry someone who gets annoyed when the music is too loud, can’t cook, and probably drinks a bit too much when it comes to long islands and shirley temples.

We looked past the perfect parts and married the dirty underbelly of each other.

And that’s why we’re going to work.

We’re also going to work because we know that marriage takes work. It doesn’t just happen.

Chet and I make a choice, every morning, to love the other for all of their faults, quirkiness, nuances, and being.

We promised to stand by that choice when we exchanged rings.

We know what we’re in. We’re happy to be here. So stop judging.

Ponderings on the event

Thursday, January 7th, 2010

I haven’t spoken much about the wedding, as I’m sure you’ve noticed. This is because I’m still trying to catalog all of my feelings from it. Some feelings good, some feelings bad, and some feelings in between.

This is the reason why my posts have been scattered and DIY and 365 rather than anything of meat. But don’t worry. I’m coming out of my proverbial closet, and I’m going to be honest about all of the wedding stuff —  the great, the good, the bad, and the ugly.

Hope you’re ready.

Our First Christmas

Sunday, December 27th, 2009

As I’m sure you’ve garnered from Nicole’s writing, this was our first Christmas together. Ever. Throughout our courtship we always spent this holiday with our respective parents and other assorted relatives. However, this year, we were together in Nebraska. As strange as it was not being with our families, it was quite delightful to be with each other, blizzard outside or not. Due to said weather conditions we haven’t done much venturing out out into the world.

However, this holiday together starting our own traditions, and watching classic holiday movies (White Christmas & Christmas Vacation) and not so classic or holiday movie (Hudson Hawk & Twister), continues to remind me why I married this woman. In a nutshell, she’s awesome. In a slightly larger nutshell, she allows me to be long winded and eccentric, and plays video games with me through all hours of the nights.

As strange as it was, this was still a great Christmas. Can’t wait for New Years Eve.

That Which We Call a Rose…

Thursday, March 5th, 2009

Colie and I have discussed the issue of the almighty name change in the past. It’s never been an issue with me, because originally she said that when she was married she’d change her name, or hyphenate it, but continue to use her maiden name in her professional life. This always made me happy and thrilled me to death. I had no problem with her using the name in her practice, since that is what will be inscribed upon her Ph.D.

However she has recently decided, much to my disdain, that she’d rather keep her name. She has very strong reasons for this, but I don’t know if she understands how much it means to me for her to take on my name. I know it’s based out of tradition, and neither of us are really traditional in any manner at all, but I want her to take my name. It’s like a gift that I’m giving her, the ultimate “welcome to my life” package. Not to mention how happy it makes me to see her sign my name as part of hers now in her notebooks.

I want to be able to say in the very near future, “Hi, this is my wife Nicole Marie Gassett,” or Lozano-Gassett…or something. I love the girl, but this is something near and dear to me, as her name is to her. I don’t know how I’m going to convince her to take my name as part of hers, but I’m working on it. I just need her to understand how much it means to me.

What do you all think?

Unsure about…everything

Monday, January 26th, 2009

I’m almost positive that Nicole thinks I’m uninterested in planning our wedding, and just so you all know that not true. There are a lot of decisions that go into a wedding. Most people probably already know that, but I never fully realized what all this would encompass until it was upon us. I like discussing our wedding plans with each other, but sometimes it’s so stressful. Nicole probably has a lot of the same stress levels in her head, but she’s much cooler about it than me. She’s looking at budget planning, venues, foods, colors, flowers dresses, and I can’t get myself to focus on who I want to officiate the ceremony. I’ve at least only have two choices to choose between. When looking at all of the stuff that Nicole has taken upon herself I’m pretty lame.

I think my problem comes in that I’m too laidback. I ask myself questions to try to figure out what I want out of our wedding, but…well look for yourself.

  • Where do I want to get married? Texas, Trees, Pretty, Meaningful to Colie and I.
  • What kind of food do I want? The delicious variety.
  • What do I want to be in the ceremony? erm…?

And it basically does down like that. Does anyone out there have any advice on how to make up my mind. I mentioned in a previous blog that I wanted to sit down with Nicole to discuss our goals, but when she tried to do this I crapped out. What is she going to do with me?

We’ll see I suppose.