Archive for the ‘Frustration’ Category

A memo about my marriage

Friday, February 19th, 2010

Let’s pause for a moment. I know I promised the ceremony but I’m going to break so that I can rant about something that is beginning to upset me.

Just because Chet and I are young, does not mean that we aren’t committed to our marriage, jumped into this irrationally, don’t know what we’re doing, irresponsible, careless, or less self-aware than our older newlywed counterparts.

Let me reiterate that: just because we are young, does NOT mean we are stupid.

So please, stop telling me (us) that we are. I’m very protective of our marriage, and I am likely to snap soon. And that won’t be pretty, I promise.

I do understand that statistics are against us, but statistics are such a fickle thing by the time they reach the public (funny example).

And, have you ever met us? I mean, we’re not your typical early twenty year olds, in many ways.

We didn’t get married because we’re “in looooooove”. I mean, yeah we’re in love but c’mon. Give us a bit more credit. We rationalized it out. No, we don’t have the same life experiences that a 45 year old couple has, but we do know that we can change with each other, and that’s huge.

We do know that divorce is not an option for us.

I know that Chet can’t sit still for the life of him while I am grateful for any moment of silence and stillness which I can get.

Chet knows that it takes me 45 minutes to fall asleep and I know that he can be asleep in 30 seconds flat (I’ve timed this).

I know that Chet will never, ever, ever, get out of bed happily before 11 am, while I could be up at 6 and have the Greatest. Day. Ever.

Chet knows that I pick fights whenever I’m pissy, and that means I probably need food or sleep.

I know Chet will never argue with me.

Chet will never notice that the toilet paper roll is empty, and I will always put it on upside-down.

Chet knows that I have a tendency to be a needy attention whore, about as bad as any Paris Hilton/Lindsey Lohan out there.

I know that Chet will always be more frugal than I am.

Chet knows that I will disappear into my own world while reading, and it’s best to leave me alone.

I know that Chet needs touch to be reminded of my love, while he knows that I’m a total words person and would be fine without touch.

We both know the other’s faults, but that’s the beauty of this. It’s super easy to marry someone when you think that they are perfect.

It’s much harder to marry someone who I know will never have the same idea of clean as I do and probably miss my hints about EVERYTHING, even when I just tell him. Just as he had to marry someone who gets annoyed when the music is too loud, can’t cook, and probably drinks a bit too much when it comes to long islands and shirley temples.

We looked past the perfect parts and married the dirty underbelly of each other.

And that’s why we’re going to work.

We’re also going to work because we know that marriage takes work. It doesn’t just happen.

Chet and I make a choice, every morning, to love the other for all of their faults, quirkiness, nuances, and being.

We promised to stand by that choice when we exchanged rings.

We know what we’re in. We’re happy to be here. So stop judging.

Day of prepping or what the hell was I thinking?

Monday, February 1st, 2010

Honestly, the day of prepping wasn’t all that terrible, for me. I finally fell asleep around 2 in the morning because we first had to locate the wedding band… that was fun, and then I had to finish his gift. Whoops.

Part of Chet’s gift was a pocket square that I had bought everything for back in August. However, I never ended up working on it, and found myself at 1:30 a.m., the night before the wedding working on it. So anyway, I nestled my head away and slept until my alarm went off at 7:30.

See, my girls and I were staying in one hotel, but getting ready at the house my parents had rented across town. This created all kinds of logistical nightmares, some of which involved showers, hair, dressing, forgetting stuff… nightmares. I opted to shower at 7:30 as did another bridesmaid. The other two decided to shower at my parent’s place, and the fourth… she just came ready.

Then, my bridesmaids did something fabulous for me… they took me to get my nails done. See, there are a couple of things that make me feel really, really pretty. Part of this is hair and make up, and the other part is having my nails all done up. So, Ashton paid to have that happen.

(I’m the one in the white :)

After my feet and hands were all pretty we headed over to the hall to finish decorating.

Finishing the seating chart. This was a pain in my side.

Partly because I didn’t want it, thus I didn’t care.

Partly because we forgot a way to tell people where they were to sit.

Partly because I didn’t want to mess with it day of.

It rained. And it was 40 degrees. That’s not the ideal for a wedding that was supposed to be outside. So, everything was moved inside where the dancing was to take place. This kind of became logistically a pain in my ass, but it was what it had to be. My dad looks like he is directing, Doug is doing as he should be, and that blur there was one of the day of coordinators.

Let me pause and tell you this: I would not have been able to make it without those day ofs’. The end.

Even the bride was working. Don’t hate.

Next up: Getting dressed, and how you know I’m not a normal bride.

Ponderings on the event

Thursday, January 7th, 2010

I haven’t spoken much about the wedding, as I’m sure you’ve noticed. This is because I’m still trying to catalog all of my feelings from it. Some feelings good, some feelings bad, and some feelings in between.

This is the reason why my posts have been scattered and DIY and 365 rather than anything of meat. But don’t worry. I’m coming out of my proverbial closet, and I’m going to be honest about all of the wedding stuff —  the great, the good, the bad, and the ugly.

Hope you’re ready.

Secrets of the Budget Bride Cult

Tuesday, June 30th, 2009

Nicole has diligently sought out some of the most creative people in the internet tube system©. These bloggers all have super neat ideas, and great budget tips, and on, and on, and on. It’s really a never ending buffet of information sharing, which is brilliantly what the internet is intended for. The budgeting beauties have raised some issues with me. There are a few things about them I don’t understand, but really these things will relate back to more paramount social issues that are completely scalable for any group category.
Firstly these women are all part of this indie-bride movement, and just with any independent movement there comes a set of standards that all “independent” entities are there upon meant to follow. Relate back to the film SLC Punk!. They’re all Anarchist and what have you, but they all have a set group with an equal amount of social protocol that they’re expected to adhere to. This has constantly boggled my mind. In the long run it causes amazing discourse and upset among individual brides and their wedding. Somewhere along the line these women are duped into believe that there is some set of rules that each and every wedding is meant to abide by. Quite frankly, I’m tired of the nonsense.
Between the dueling factors of friends and family in the whole shebang that is wedding planning, one cannot allow themselves to become entranced by the Bridal Cult. No one wedding is akin, and no wedding should be. Where’s the fun in that? It’s your wedding do what you want. (I assure you; I’m fully aware of how much more difficult this is to do, than to say.)
The second issue I have with this budgeting bogeys is the fact that all of them proclaim budgeting is the law of the land. They put of all these marvelous ideas about how to not spend a fortune, and how great their wedding is because they didn’t spend this much, or that much. This is all well and fine, until the decisive day arrives that these women tell their devoted blog readers that they will not in fact be releasing any details of their budgets. Are you kidding me? All this time you’ve spent espousing the magic of the budget, and then you’re not going to share. I call B.S.
I understand not wanting to give out these intimate details for privacy reasons, which any normal individual couple may cite. However the moment these brides began witnessing the power of money saving to the rest of their indie-bride masses, is exactly when they lost their rights to to fiscal privacy. So give it up beauties. By denying your readers this access you’ve all painted a lovely portrait for yourselves. You’ve either gone over budget, which is okay, it happens. Or you’ve not heeded any of your own advice and completely splurged on the Disney-Princess-dream-come-true wedding extravaganza.
In the grand scheme of life I realize that neither of these points hold any sort of importance. It’s just nice sometimes to share my feelings, and to see where everyone else stands.

PS: No one posted what the song was in the last blog title. Decidedly, that is lame.

Apologies Abound

Sunday, February 8th, 2009

Earlier tonight Nicole said something to me about not blogging since January. I replied with the fact that I have been de-spamming the blogs, to make sure our visitors are not bombarded with trash. To which she curtly responded with, “If you’re patrolling the Web site, why is there 4 pages of spam in the guestbook.” Shame me.

I would like to apologize to all of our friends who had graciously went to our guestbook, cheerily hoping to leave a kind message of hope and happiness, only to find that robots have invaded and decided that you all should check out their awesome sites. Honestly I’m embarrassed that any of you were requested to view a site where you could see “she-males cumming”. Some people have no respect of decency for others any more.

I am currently working on a way to better protect the website. Maybe I will actually figure out how to make a CAPTCHA work. Until I find a solution I have programmed the guestbook to send an email my way anytime a comment is made on the guestbook so that I may delete it.

Again…apologies abound.