Archive for the ‘advice’ Category

Don’t be rude.

Thursday, October 29th, 2009

Chet and I have decided that for the guests who RSVP’d yes, and then didn’t come, we are going to bill them*.


They will receive an invoice which will be mailed out on 11/30. Recognizing that normal mailing turn around time is 4 days, we will allow 2 weeks between re-billings before we send their information to a collection agency.

Bet you didn’t know that RSVP was a contract huh?


An example of the proposed invoice:


Please click to enlarge.

*Please, dear God, know we are joking. Though, if you’re not able to make it, a call would be greatly appreciated.

What about the kidlets?

Saturday, October 17th, 2009


I like kids. Chet likes kids. However, we had not intended on kids coming to the wedding. There a multiple reasons for this, some being that we’re having the whole shebang in a historic building with historic, expensive, breakable things. We also felt that it’s hard to have an intimate ceremony when kids are running around and being kids.

Hear that: they are just being kids! We just didn’t particularly want that at our wedding.

Well, we were over-ruled. And, that’s okay I suppose. This was one of those things that it was easier just to say bring the kids and we’ll get over it.

So, now I am trying to figure out how to keep the kidlets occupied.

One bride posted some great pictures and ideas:

1. Cover their tables in butcher paper so they can color on the table.
2. Coloring books (to be used with colored pencils – must not ruin your dress!)
3. Fun stickers
4. Pipe cleaners
5. Puzzles

via: landlocked bride

Minus the “must not ruin your dress” comment, these are some good ideas. And cheap, because that is really important to me currently.

Thoughts? Ideas?


Thursday, October 15th, 2009

“You, out there in Brideland, you sweet thing: Are you planning your wedding so that it will be perfect in every detail? Do you expect it to be the happiest day of your life? Miss Manners sincerely hopes not. Few of those who prattle about that “happiest day” seem to consider the dour expectations this suggests about the marriage from the second day on. At any rate, someone whose idea of ultimate happiness is a day spent at a big party, even spent being the center of attention at a marvelous big party, is too young to get married.” – Miss Manners

“Engaged women don’t need another voice telling them they’re failing. It doesn’t matter if it’s a voice of tradition telling them they’re wrong for wanting to have their wedding in the round, or a voice of nontradition telling them they’re wrong for wanting to wear a white dress — brides need encouragement and support. This is all to say, your wedding isn’t a race, and there’s no need to win — the only prize you need is the commitment of your partner (aww) and you get that no matter what.” – Ariel Stallings

My love

Sunday, October 11th, 2009

Dear Chet:
More than anything, I want you to know how excited I am to marry you in 41 days.

I also want you to know what I mean when I say I love you, and what I promise you as we take this new step together.

When I say I love you, I mean that I feel a deep, tender, ineffable feeling of affection and solicitude toward a you. I am filled with a feeling of intense desire and attraction towards you. I feel a sense of underlying oneness with you that fills my heart with joy.

I give my love to you freely, as an expression of my own passion, and I do so without any expectation of your feelings toward me.

When I say “I love you” it doesn’t mean that I feel ownership over you, or that I have expectations for your behavior, or rigid ideas of our future together.

I love you for what you are now, not for what I hope you will someday become. I have no plans to change you. I do, however, support your own desire to grow.

I respect your right to you having your own feelings, and to your need to learn your own lessons in life. If I can help, I will wait to be asked, and otherwise will allow you to go through the experiences that you need and choose.

I will do my best to be in touch with my own feelings and desires, and communicate them to you without any expectation that you will act on them.

I am happy with or without you. My bliss is my responsibility alone.

I leave you free to be yourself: to think your thoughts, indulge your tastes, follow your inclinations, behave in ways that you decide are to your liking. I have no right to judge or change your behavior.

I desire that you be happy. If your time spent with me is not joyful, then you are welcome to go on your way with my love and support still with you.

I recognize that we are two separate whole people, who have chosen to walk side-by-side through life for a time. I rejoice in the ecstasy of the present-moments we share together.

Via: Joy is Now

I love Weddings

Friday, October 9th, 2009

I have a TMI post coming up here soon (probably tonight). I haven’t done it yet because I’m not totally sure how to word it so that I don’t sound too bat-shit crazy or gross, because it could easily go both ways.

But, for now, I am going to blog about a blog who blogs about wedding. Heh.

That blog is A Practical Wedding written by the wonderful Meg. Meg and her partner were married two months ago in what seems to be a lovely wedding. She just did her wedding recap over this past week.

The Welcome Picnic
Getting Ready with Lots of Grins
Ketubah Signing
The Aisle Walk
And On Transcendence
With a love like that, you know you should be glad
A Really Great Party
The end, or really a beginning

Even if you don’t read through those posts (though, in my humble opinion, I think you should!) just look at those pictures. That wedding is beautiful. I know, I know. That’s said about everyone’s wedding because pictures are just amazing.

But “watching” this woman go through her wedding process has been a joy.

Chet has touched on the ‘Indie Bride’ movement in a blog once. He basically did that blog because I was complaining how now I feel like there is a new standard (the indie bride) and it’s just flat out frustrating.

I love that Meg, and her blog, represent brides of all kinds. Some who are traditional, some who are budget weddings, some who are just weddings, some who are crafty, and others who aren’t. She takes a bride who is going crazy with planning, and brings them back to earth.

Well, she does that for me at least.

Anyhow, go read some of her sanity. I’m really excited that there is someone who makes me feel comfrotable about my wedding.

Also, that conversation she has with her partner about her aisle walk… that will totally be me. I am scared sh*tless about getting married. I know, right?